he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
