put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
