if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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