My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
