you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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