I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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