the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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