I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
