she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There's always time for handjobs
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
