So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
