Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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