My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
