what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize