Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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