i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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