Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
