I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
