Dual....:-)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
