i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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