So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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