The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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