I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i now understand why vodka
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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