So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
