Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
