I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You need a sexual gate keeper
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
