She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.