jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
bring money and cleavage
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.