I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We named our party play list daddy issues
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months