are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.