i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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