I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you never un-have a 4some
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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