You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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