You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
