So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the condom got lost in my hair
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
