when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
