you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
