he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
