she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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