remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
