I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
