i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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