you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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