no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
