I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
