Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
