I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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