sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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