The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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