I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize