dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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