Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
