I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
