Define "chronic" masturbator.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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