You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm going to jail i love you
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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