There was a lot of him and a little penis
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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