You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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