i would punch a child for taco bell
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
