so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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