I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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