i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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