if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize