i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
