the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
They have beer where we have blood.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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