one might say we're banned from that church
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
