toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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