Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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