he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
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Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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