my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
