My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
