I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
