he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
