Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
