wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
