my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
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Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
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Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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